I think my vagina is haunted
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
