My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
