it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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