Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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