dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
