last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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