I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
