im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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