Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize