i just wanna soil my oats bro
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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