Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
being pregnant is like rehab
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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