my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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