Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
