I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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