I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
