Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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