haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
