Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
