I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am available for nakedness
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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