I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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