this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
