"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
