I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize