That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
