Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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