remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
