so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
