it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
