i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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