you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
