help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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