The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
