I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
