3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
