I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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