I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
