i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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