He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
