You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
