made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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