Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
