i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
