Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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