I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
