i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize