Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
