All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
