yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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