hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
