Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
