He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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