Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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