Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she peed on how many people?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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