For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
