Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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