we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
