I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
