my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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