hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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